If you are like me the hardest thing for you todo is to ask for help. Help with the dishes, thelaundry, moving something heavy is hard enough toask for, but help with emotional support to makelow carbing easier too? Help with eliminatingtemptation, dealing with all but the right foodoptions, planning, and preparation. Who would orcould burden their families with requests likethis?
Going it alone and in secret is a disasterwaiting to happen. It opens the door for closeteating, cheating, and excuse after excuse forslip-ups. But then, no one would know but you,would they, if no one knew you were low carbingand what special needs you now have? You don’twant to be seen as different!
When you look at your new lifestyle change inthis way, a burden to your family, beingdifferent, or having special needs, is it anywonder we fall? Who wants to be placed in thesecategories, especially those of us who are thecaretakers of our families?
The first thing to do once you’ve decided thisway of life is for you is to form a supportsystem. Not everyone will agree with your choice,certainly you will get ill informed opinionsranging from kidney failure to you-name-it. Thosenaysayers are not your support system.
There are tons of ways of dealing with them, fromkindly thanking them for their concern to askingthem what studies they gleaned the informationfrom and asking them to mail it to you. You couldarm yourself with some of the many, many studiessupporting low carb and offer to send the info tothem.
Many low carbers choose to not say “low-carb” atall and instead to explain they are insulinresistant and need to avoid sugar and highglycemic foods. This works very well as mostpeople have no idea what you are saying and toavoid you knowing that they’ll simply change thesubject.
Support comes in many forms, but support, in myopinion is a vital part of long-term success.
The first place to start is you. Whatever ittakes, you will do it. There is NOTHING moreimportant than your health. There are a millionsituations that are worse than having to avoidsugar, flour and high glycemic foods. Put thisway of life in perspective each and every day,even single time you get into a situation ormindset that you are tempted to stray..whatcould be worse? Then have a place to findsupport, the support you will need to get overany tiny or large hurdle that you will comeacross in this journey. You will have thosehurdles, we all do, and that makes you normal.
The next step is to find a doctor that supportsyour way of eating. It took me several phonecalls to find one when I first started four yearsago. Even then, he still would only commit tosupporting whatever was healthy for me. Thatmeant having regular blood tests, which ended upmaking a convert of him in the process. He saw my”genetically high cholesterol” and he wanted memedicated - forget control through low-carbeating alone. Today there are many doctors whohave embraced low-carb eating so finding one isno where near as hard as “the old days”.
You will need the support of your significantother. This may mean being painfully honest withthem about how food effects you and why. Youunderstand what an insulin spike does to you, butdo they? My husband has been a tall, skinny, highmetabolized man his whole life. He is alsosomeone who can stop easily at one cookie, or oneHershey Kiss and walk away. It took me a longtime to have the guts to sit him down and admitto him my lack of control with food, but it wasthe best thing I ever did for myself in gainingthe support at home I needed with keeping thetaboos out of sight, out of mind for me.
I have to laugh when Wayne and Erin do “thewhisper” and head for the family room in thebasement. They have their “stash” down there. Iknow what they are doing, and at times I feellike I’ve turned my family into closet eaters andhave a bit of guilt about it. But I don’t have tolook at or smell the chocolate. And in turn Erin(our nine year old) has adopted a new way oflooking at junk food. She now knows it’s not”good, healthy food” and wanting to please (asall kids do) will now opt for healthy snacksinstead.
Having non low-carbers in the house can bechallenging! We hate to deny them the things theylove, especially if food is not an issue forthem. What works for us is the “out of sight, outof mind” technique and only a little bit of thatat most. There is one cupboard where Wayne keepshis tortilla chips and his chocolate syrup (heputs it on my low carb ice cream) and Erin’spudding gets put on the bottom back shelf of thefridge. In the process I find out of sight, outof mind works for them also as they tend to grabwhat is visible and that is fresh, wholesomelow-carb snack options. Sneaky, huh?!
My friends all know I low-carb but rarely thinkabout it. Many of them are now low-carbers also.I get phone calls from Wayne at work because hehas co-workers who have low-carb questions forme. I usually always have options when we go out.If we are invited to a friend’s home I alwayscall ahead to find out what’s on the menu and askif I can bring something. If there is little tonothing, I bring something low-carb whether askedto or not. Hostesses love this gesture. I eatfirst, have something ready for when we returnhome and make do while there. Very rarely doesanyone notice what I’m eating or not eating. Theimportant thing to get over is that socialsituations are all about the food, it’s reallyabout people.
Check to see if there are local support groups inyour area. If not, think about starting one atyour home, or a free meeting place in your town.It’s important to know you’re not alone and thereARE others just like you, looking for people likeyou. The woman’s health club called “Curves forWomen” is low-carb based and many have weeklymeetings on low-carb eating.
Some of my greatest support has always come fromonline support groups and forums on the Internet.The options range from email lists, forums andbulletin boards to chat rooms. The variety ofspecial needs groups is just as varied, whetheryou’re interested in groups for just women ormen, low-carbers with more than 100 pounds tolose, to low-carb groups for religion based foodrestrictions. Join a few and lurk (just read andwatch). Then get active when you find one thatsuits your needs.
I have met people from all over the world, everywalk of life, religion, and social standard. Weall have a common bond: we are insulin resistant.Some of my closest friends are the people I havemet and gotten to know on the low-carb forumsthrough the last four years. I am never alone, nomatter what time of day or night. If I wake inthe middle of the night and need to talk, thefolks from “down under” are online and there forme.
Join some recipes lists, try new recipes andencourage your family to be honest taste testers.Keep a notebook of “keepers” and get your familyexcited about the new food options. It’s a greatmotivator when they ask for things that arelow-carb!
Most importantly be honest with your needs, toyourself, your family and your friends andco-workers. Putting yourself first is not a badthing when it comes to your health. Giving in orcheating to avoid being different or asking foraccommodation is only punishing yourself fortrying to be healthy, and that is the mostsenseless act of all.
The Need for Support in a Low-Carb Lifestyle
From Co-Editor Wendy L
Change is never easy. Depending on the situation,change can be close to impossible.
You are a strong person and you know, in yourheart, what is best for you. You’ve read thebooks, you’ve done the research. You know thatyou’re overweight or plagued with ill health.Tired and sick, you know what is making you feelthat way. You’re strong enough and smart enoughto know that you have to make a change in yourdiet before what you’re eating kills you. You’vedecided to make a change in your eating habitsand your lifestyle. It’s going to be tough, butyou can do it. Remember, the most importantsource of support for you, is you.
The hardest part of sticking to a low-carb dietisn’t going to be cleaning out the cupboards andre-stocking with food allowed on this way oflife. The hardest part of low-carbing isn’t goingto be getting through the first few days whenyou’re experiencing withdrawal symptoms from thesugar and built-up carbs in your body. Thehardest part is not going to be the decision ofwhat to choose from the menu when you go out toeat or attend a party. The hardest part of thisnew way of life is not going to be learning howto shop and cook and add exercise to yourschedule.
The hardest part of sticking to this low-carb wayof eating is going to be dealing with the wordsand actions from family, friends and co-workers.The hardest part of dealing with a low-carblifestyle is going to be those closest to you whodon’t support your decision to change your eatinghabits for the better and will attempt toundermine your success.
You’re going to have co-workers and friends whowill profess to know all where low-carb andnutrition is concerned, and they will bombard youwith their “knowledge” of what is right and whatis wrong with the way you eat - remember whatthey “know” and in turn try to enforce upon youis what they have been taught.
They’ve been taught that low-fat is good, all fatis bad, the food pyramid is the way to go, withits five daily servings of bread and pasta -after all, you believed that once upon a time,didn’t you? It’s what is drummed into us by ourteachers, our government, our doctors and peoplewho we believe “should” know - most people don’thave the courage or the strength to thinkindependently and they will never attempt it.They believe what they are told, they’re contentto be led around by the nose - it’s their nature.They are part of the sheeple - don’t try tochange them because you never will. You arechanging you - you are what is important andthat’s what you need to focus on - you.
Some of us choose to think outside the box andwe’re open to learning new things - you’velearned more about nutrition reading one of thelow-carb plan books than all your officeco-workers combined will ever know. Smile whenthey try to impart their knowledge on to you -you know the truth and you know what is right foryou. Smile and decline the bagel or the offeringfrom the box of donuts and remember - you are incharge of you. You are in control. You are incharge of the hand that travels to your mouth.You are in control of what that hand picks up inits travels.
What happens when it’s loved ones that threatenyour new lifestyle? Often those loved ones, themother, the sister, the husband or thesignificant other feel threatened when they seeyou start to change before their very eyes. Theyare content with the current status-quo and theydon’t want to see anything happen to upset theapple cart.
After all, if you are losing weight, feelingbetter, looking better and turning the heads ofevery male in the restaurant as you follow thehostess to your seat, don’t you see how thatwould shake up the security blanket your husbandhas become nestled in? Reinforce to those closestto you that you’re doing this for you and thatyou would appreciate their support, not theirsabotage. Does your husband need to lose weight,too? Is your sister still packing around thatpregnancy weight and the baby is walking andtalking? Convince them to join you in yourlow-carb journey, educate them on the benefits ofthe lifestyle and support each another along theway.
Your loved ones will have unconscious or hiddenmotives in saying or treating you as they do, andyou must be strong enough to look past thosemotives to their underlying fear. You’re changingand it’s making those closest to youuncomfortable - perhaps they have seen you failat diet after diet and they don’t want to see youfail again. They don’t want to see you hurt andtheir lack of knowledge about this way of lifemanifests in things they say that undermine yourattempt at success. They know nothing about alow-carb diet but they’ve heard all themisinformation and the horror stories - theythink they’re going to save you from yourself.Educate them. Teach them the things you’velearned.
Perhaps you will end up needing the outsidesupport a therapist can give you in understandingthe feelings of your family and the complexissues that cause you to overeat. Investigateyour local community health care system - you canfind professional help that is often free oreasily affordable. Check your private insuranceprovisions, quite often private insurance willpay for psychological therapy.
Enlist the aid of your physician as you adopt thelow-carb lifestyle. Have a thorough check-up andinsist the prerequisite blood tests arecompleted. You’ll need those test results tocompare to tests done in the future as you loseweight and begin to feel better. If yourcholesterol is 260 today, nothing will keep youmotivated and sticking to this way of life thanto see a test result six months down the roadthat comes in at 180. If your doctor doesn’tsupport you - find another one. If your doctordoesn’t listen to you when you speak - find onethat does.
I have health issues that send me to anendocrinologist every few months, and I’ve beenseeing that doctor regularly for the last tenyears. She’s a very good doctor with one of thebest medical reputations in the country in herspecialty, which is diabetes. When I firstembarked on the Atkins Diet, she was horrified. Isat through lecture after lecture on what was badabout the diet and how I should go to WeightWatchers or follow the AMA’s “diabetic” diet(even though I wasn’t diabetic). She gave mepamphlets that extolled the value of the foodpyramid and books that contained week after weekof diabetic menus.
Almost a year later, after I lost 80 pounds andthis doctor could look at numerous test resultsand see how my cholesterol levels had dropped,how the hormones had leveled to normal instead ofbeing off the charts, I was no longer takinganti-depressants and other drugs, was back towork full time and functioning - well, guess whathappened? Dr. looked at me one day during anappointment, then Dr. looked at the ceiling, Dr.looked at the floor, then Dr. cleared her throatbefore she looked me square in the eye and toldme that she now recommended the Atkins Diet toevery one of her diabetic patients and she hadseen what she termed as nothing short ofmiracles, time and time again, in those patients.(There is hope yet for the AMA!)
In addition to making the lifestyle change thatlow-carb eating entails, the everyday stress ofliving can be a heavy, overwhelming load. Supportyourself and do something for you that will helplessen the load.
Take a ceramics class, learn to throw pottery ona wheel, sign up for volunteer work, learn topaint, take a yoga class, enroll in a book clubor learn to meditate. Find something that bringsyou peace and contentment and then DO IT.
Set aside fifteen or thirty minutes out of yourday and do something for you. Add a little fun toyour day and make sure it is something you enjoy- go for a walk in the park, feed the ducks atthe local lake, spend thirty minutes at Bordersin an easy chair with a book of Monet paintings,take a nap, call a friend, spend fifteen minutesdoing nothing except standing barefoot in thegrass with your eyes closed and your face tiltedback to receive the sun, listen to a cd of yourfavorite music on the way home from work - rollthe windows down and crank the music up and letthe wind blow through your hair. Sing along atthe top of your voice - who cares what the otherdrivers think? This is your life! Do what makesyou happy! Give yourself a little time and thesame attention you give to so many thingsthroughout your day that are much less important.
Earlier this year, I changed my shift at work andin doing so became friends with two women Ididn’t know. They invited me to a get-together atone of their homes on a Sunday night. I went, andmet a few more of their friends. A few weekslater, they invited me to another get-togetherand that night I met a few more people - friendsof friends. Now, there’s are a group of us thatget together regularly - we each bring somethingto eat and we usually congregate at one home on aSaturday or Sunday evening - no one plans thefood, we each bring whatever. Most of the time,the food makes a complete meal and we sit, eatand talk and have the most amazing conversationsthat have gone on from five in the evening toafter one in the morning. It is a wonderful timeof fellowship that I miss terribly when I can’tgo. Fear of the unknown - I didn’t really knowthese women - almost made me say no when I wasfirst invited. Oh, what I would have missed had Isaid no! Don’t be fearful - try something new!Get together with your friends - it’s what lifeis all about!.There are online groups available you can turn tofor support. The Atkins website has a supportsection, there are many low-carb websites outthere that have their own chat rooms or bulletinboards and, of course, there are many low-carbsupport groups located on Yahoo. I’ve been amember of many of these - you’ll find themajority of group members will support you butthere’s always one antagonist, it seems. Treatthem as a stumbling block, step over the blockand move on.
Support yourself by keeping a journal. Start outby keeping track of the food you eat and tune into your eating habits. Use this private time withyourself to identify your strengths andweaknesses when it comes to food, and exploreyour emotions and how they are tied into food.Become aware of issues in your life that you maybe ignoring and may force you off track - usethis private time to stay motivated. Get to knowyourself on a deeply personal level.
Stay on course and you will succeed. You know therules - make this a lifestyle change instead of ashort-term diet and you will live long andprosper. Be good to yourself - and be happy. Goodluck on your journey.